This morning as I ate a Nutra Grain and looked at flowers,

I wondered what it must be like to be the man Dane Bowers.

Would I lick you up and down until you’ve had enough?

Or would I go and stick my big fat toe up Jordan’s muff?

Would I get it fights with guys in Nando’s when I’m drunk?

Or would I harmonise on R&B boyband sex-funk?

Would I DJ nightclubs in Doncaster and Skegness?

Or would I pose for pictures when my hair’s a fucking mess?

Would my voice be angel-like despite my plumber’s face?

Or would I sing with shit people like Posh Spice just in case?

The one thing that I know for sure,

Is that Dane’s a lucky devil.

He takes the scale of alpha male,

To another fucking level.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s